Alli Bates:
1. Alli had very good dialogue, and very descriptive words. The way she describes the cold wind and her nine year old hips really paint a picture in my head of what the weather was like and what she looked like. I also really enjoy how she desriptively describes they way the people dressed, talked and acted. It helps with the setting, and plot of the story.
2. I was a bit confused in the beginning and it was hard to keep reading it. The beginning needs to be a little bit more "catchy". I think it would be beneficial for her to add a phrase or statement in the beginning to help grab the readers attention. Like "Out of all the rules my mother gave me, I would have never guessed I would disobey the biggest one of all, the "Stranger, Danger" rule."
3. My favorite literary device that Alli used is, the descriptive words. instead of just saying i went out to play with my hula-hoop she talks about "the hula-hoop spinning around her nine year old hips." and I also really enjoyed how she describes the cold winter winds.
4. The most catchy part of this narrative would be the title. It is also catchy how she goes right into the story and starts it off with dialogue of the older lady.
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